Feelings, nothing more than feelings

     Last week, an awesome thing happened to me. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and I think that when this thing happened last week,  it was what I needed at the time. The awesome thing was that these awesome ladies over at FitApproach, Jamie and Alyse thought I had what it takes to be a SweatPink Ambassador. I talked about it in my post on Monday, it means that I get to encourage other women to put themselves first and help them reach a healthy goal, whatever that healthy goal is. It is also an opportunity for us Ambassadors to get together and know that there is a group of ladies joined together with something common to continually encourage each other in achieving our goal, no matter what fitness goal that is. Because of this awesome title, I will be going to Bryant Park and we are doing a meet-up of all local SweatPink Ambassadors. I am excited. I have read blogs of some of these women, and they seem awesome. I cannot wait to continue to learn from them and continue to help others achieve whatever fitness goals they have.
   I never considered myself one who would be inspiring others. I sometimes I have doubts in my own mind, that I am doing the right thing. That I AM a runner. On Saturdays, I usually run with a group of friends known as Breakfast Club Runners. If anyone is in the area and wants to run with a group of awesome runners (all abilities, all speeds, all various mileage) please look us up on Facebook and join the fun! Our location changes week to week, and it is always posted by Thursday where we are going. I promise, you won't be disappointed.  The best part of it all, we go to BREAKFAST as a group together!! Even if you aren't local, I recommend that you try to find a running club in your area.  I wish I would have known about this club before I ran my first 5K last November.  Looking back, and moving forward, I recommend to people to run with a group of people for a number of reasons.

1. You will get used to running with someone other than yourself
2. You will get used to running with people faster and slower than yourself
3. You will get used to running with people who are running at you in the same space that you are running
4. You will meet a lot of other runners and these runners can teach you things that they have learned that will help your running.

I always tell people to try it.  Even if they wait until the month before their race, it is important to get used to running with other people.  My first race, I hadn't met BCR yet. I remember standing in the pack of runners almost ready to cry.  I was invading other people's space, they were invading mine. The gun went off and I had to dodge people, go around slower runners, stuff like that, all kinds of stuff that was foreign to me.  I had to learn how to pace myself (I SO TOTALLY BLEW THIS ONE!!) I did not enjoy the experience as I wish I would have. Now, knowing what I do now, I really stress running with others before your race.
  Yesterday, I was asked to pace someone. ME!?!?! I pace my good friend Stef as she is now a running addict, but by pacing her, I am pushing myself, and making me a stronger runner.  I am kinda slower right now than I was in April because I am coming back from an IT Band injury and never thought I would pace an experienced runner from this group and I did just that. I was flattered and humbled all at the same time. I guess my hard work is paying off! Because of pacing, I was able to go the distance I had originally wanted, and didn't let myself settle for a comfort distance. I got to learn more about this person, and I made sure he (HI Frank!) wasn't pushing himself so he can get back to racing.  I know he misses it, and we miss having him at the races.  Later in the day, I received a text from a very good friend of mine.  She is not a runner at all. She will be the first to admit it.  However, last weekend she did the Spartan race, and while she would be the first to admit that she wasn't prepared, she was determined to finish it. AND she did!! She texted me and asked me to help her get ready for a half marathon in 6 weeks.  I texted back saying that I really didn't think that was a good goal.  I told her that it took me 12 weeks to prepare for my half marathon, and that I was already running before I started training.  So I told her that we should pick one in Oct or Nov and that I would try to get her ready for that.  I then also told her that in the meantime we will start doing other races, starting with 5Ks, and build up the races before the half.  I think that it is very important to set realistic goals, and if you don't run at all, going from nothing to 13.1 miles is hard, not impossible, hard, but that doing it in 6 weeks might mean failure.  I do not believe in letting my friends do things that are not realistic.  If I allow that, what kind of friend am I? I am supposed to support them and help them, wouldn't I be doing the opposite of just that if I had let her sign up for a half marathon with inadequate time to train?!?! What did I hope she gained from our conversation...

1. Dream big, but dream realistically.  If you dream you want to do a half marathon, let's do it, but let's make sure we have enough time so that you don't injure yourself
2. Don't rush the process. Rome wasn't built in a day, you can't expect to become a runner overnight.  Good things come to those who wait.
3. Enjoy every moment.  If you don't enjoy what you are doing, you won't do it.  If you don't enjoy running, there is no way you will do it for 3.1 miles, let alone 13.1.
4. Friendship brings people together.  Being some one's friend is awesome. Having them come to you for help is very humbling, but you also sometimes have to be their brain.  Dreams clog their thinking (in a good way) so sometimes you have to take their enthusiasm and just portray it a different way.
5. Don't tell them they cannot do something. Tell them they can, just not to expect instant results. (See #2).

I am very humbled by the support I am getting from my family and friends, and now by the support I am giving them. I never thought I would be one for them to come too for running guidance, and now as a SweatPink Ambassador I believe I will be able to help many others. I needed this "title" if you will. It put the wind back in my sail.  It helped me get rid of the cobwebs of doubt that built up from 6 weeks of not being able to run.  It has helped me love running again, and hopefully, I will be able to help others start running and love running like I do.  If you need any help, know someone who you think would love running or just want me to run a race with you, you know you can always count on me!

copied from Pintrest

Happy Running!

Should've, could've, would've

I had nothing better to title this blog post. I woke up upset with myself for not running last night. I should've yesterday morning, I could've run last night, and I would've run if it wasn't so dang hot out. But I can't keep making excuses. I am not going to get back into shape if I don't run. Then, this morning, I was exhausted, I tossed and turned all night long (not really sure why) and when my alarm went off for me to go to the gym, I hit snooze thinking just 5 more minutes. That snooze turned into 15 minutes and then I missed my opportunity for the gym. It's ok, I really needed the sleep more, I will just make up for it by going to the pool tonight.
I really need to stop taking it personal when M cries when I put her to bed. She's a kid, it's normal for her to not want to go to bed, I just can't think it is directed at me. She's not mad at me, she just doesn't want to go to bed because she is afraid she is missing something. It gets easier, right?!
Anyway, I should go, I have to get ready for work. Hopefully today will go quickly, and the weekend slowly, although, I am sure the work day will go slowly and the weekend quickly, since that is how it normally goes.
Tomorrow morning I am running with my BCR friends, bright and early at 0700. I am only doing 4 miles, but 2 of those miles will be at a faster pace to get me out of my comfort zone. I really want to be able to break 30 minutes in a 5K and I want to get my half marathon time under 2 hours 20 minutes.
But for now, stay cool. Stay hydrated, and have a great Friday!

thought

I am deep in thought as I am writing this post. I am confused, and hurt, and genuinely feel like we have been taken advantage of, or used, depending on how you look at it. See, last year before we found out we were pregnant, we told the hub's nephew that when he came back from Iraq we want him to be her Godfather. He was excited. (maybe I was more excited than him). Anyway, the day came and went that she was born. We didn't hear anything from him, which of course is excusable because he was in Iraq. Well, he came home on leave and wanted to see us. Or, so I thought. Actually, I think he just wanted see us so we would do him a favor. As we as in the hubs. Well, he went back, and only had like 3 weeks left. While home, we told him to get a letter from the Army chaplain saying that he was in good standing with Church and what not so that he can be our daughter's Godfather. Yes, I know he had to go back to war, but the way he described it he really wasn't doing much anyway. But I digress. He called upon the hubs a week later to do another favor, and he even used our address to ship ammo to our apartment without so much as asking or telling us. It just showed up at our house. He has been back now for almost a month. He hasn't so much as called us or texted us. He hasn't shown any concern for the ammo that is at our home. He doesn't return texts. I don't deserve this behavior. My hubs doesn't deserve it either. Nor does my daughter. What kind of Godfather is he being? What kind of person is he being? Why won't he just say, I don't want it. That would be fine.
But, we need to move on. I need to find someone that wants to be her Godfather. We are giving him until the end of the week, and then we are moving on. We are taking it as him not wanting to be her Godfather and finding someone who loves her who wants that honor. It is what she deserves, what I deserve, what we deserve. Who would think that a grown person can act this way? But, to each their own I guess.

Aww moment

Yesterday, my good friend Liz asked me to watch her son Anthony because she had to work and because her parents went out of town. Without hesitation I said sure. Why, because I absolutely love this little kid, and because I knew my niece would be up and I love love how good she is with other little kids. Anyway, Anthony came up, and while he was a little fussy, when Shae was able to distract him, hand and hand they strolled around the yard. I wish I had a picture of it, but I have to get better with carrying my camera. To my credit, I had my camera, it was just inside while we were outside. Anyway, Anthony got a little bit more fussy and I decided that it was time to leave so that we could try to get him to sleep. Never the less, within moments, he was asleep.

When we got to our apartment, I waited for the Hubs to get there. I try not to lift heavy stuff, and I knew he would be mad if I picked up Anthony. Anyway, the hubs carried him into our apartment, and while I was changing him for bed, the hubs put together our pack-n-play. What great teamwork we have already. But wait, it gets better. Hubs was eager to hold him, and whenever he fussed he rubbed his back to calm him back down. That was my aww moment. I never doubted what kind of mother I would be, but I sometimes wondered what kind of dad he will be. See, his dad isn't close to him like I am with mine, so while I know he will be a loving father, how would he show it was sometimes wondered. Not anymore. Hubs will be the kind and gentle dad that he needs to be, yet he won't be afraid to be the stern and disciplinarian that he needs to be as well. I have to say this though...I know our precious little girl will have him wrapped around her finger, and I can't be any more excited!