Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday. For those of us that are Catholic, it is the time of the year where we fast (today, Holy  Thursday and Good Friday), give up things, usually things we cannot do without, and remember what we are preparing ourselves for. I usually give up junk food, soda, stuff like that, but since I don't eat the junk food, or drink the soda, giving them up would be pointless. This year, I am giving up excuses. All kinds of excuses that prevent me from working out. "There isn't enough time," "I'm tired." those are not excuses I am privy too. I have a half marathon in a little over 70 days, so I need to make sure I get all the training in. So, I really know that I need to stay clear of not getting that run done, not getting in the pool. I need to know that I am firing on all cylinders. Don't worry, I am not putting my training plans on here. No, that is what my other blog is for.  I also want it to be noted that I will NOT  be giving up coffee, or Facebook, I did that last year.


 Giving up the excuses seems like enough for me this year.

Hope you have a happy Ash Wednesday! What are you giving up for Lent?

Pinkalicious and sickness

Last Saturday, Pinkalicious was playing at The State Theater in Easton.  While neither Makayla nor I knew anything about it, I had heard it was a cute little show. And with wanting to take her out to see a live performance, I figured why not. So, I called my sister R and invited her and my niece S. I also asked my mom and my cousin Steph if her daughter could go. I knew that they had seen it in NYC and how much they loved it. So I thought I would see if she wanted to see it with us. It turned out to be a girl's day, and Makayla was so excited about going to see it. I know she didn't know what to expect, but since I made a big deal out of the day, I think she knew it was something special. So, since it was Pinkalicious, I HAD to dress her in pink...

When it was time to leave for the performance, my cousin's daughter couldn't wait to read the story of Pinkalicious to Makayla...

...and Makayla LOVED every minute of having her read to her.

Of course...we had a photo session since we got there early...

Just then, the play began...and this is how she sat the ENTIRE time.

until she couldn't see, then she sat on my lap, until I told her she couldn't in fact go up on the stage, and then she sat with my mom. I think she loved it. She loved the clapping, the singing, the dancing. I would say that it was a success. Hmm...now to find more theater for her.

Then, Sunday was the superbowl and well, I didn't take any pictures of that. Monday came and she had a low grade fever but I sent her to day care hoping that it was just a passing thing. At 330 it spiked at day care to 103 and that is where this happy kid has become so sick :( Since Monday afternoon she has been fighting me tooth and nail about taking medicine for her fever. The highest it was was Monday night (and again last night) at 104.4. But, since 230 this morning the highest it was was 103. We are working on a cooling trend. As a matter of fact, at 500 this morning, she was wide awake, laughing, coloring, helping me cook. She seemed like herself again. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say it all started looking better after she used the bathroom this morning.  About an hour ago, she settled back down...

and is resting comfortably. I am going to check her temperature and then hopefully I will be able to go off to PT. There is a lot of stuff I get to talk to the physical therapist about, but I am only going if she is ok. She is ok...we will get through this. With lots of coffee and lots of faith, she will get better.

Have a great Wednesday...I hope this virus stays clear of you and your loved ones...

Summa Time

As much as I love winter time, I love summer. I love wearing flip flops on a daily basis, and the sun beating down on me. I miss that. I miss swimming in the pool, hanging outside, just being outside without a coat. But, I digress. I still have a lot of winter left, so I just need to hang in there. There are a lot of happenings here this summer, the biggest of all is a trip to NC for my cousin's wedding. What does that mean, the beach, family, memories, and all of us (4 children and 10 adults) under one roof. Luckily, we found our house already, thanks to our "cruise director" R. The house looks awesome, and as the days get closer to the trip, I will be more than happy to share the pictures with ya'll. In the meantime, I am keeping them to myself so I can lust over them and the sandy beaches.

One of the things that the beach house has is a pool. If you know me, and I am guessing you do since you are reading this, you know that I come from a family of swimmers. We used to spend out summers outside in bathing suits, like they were street clothes. We would be in them from probably 7 am until 10 pm almost.every.night. It was awesome! We made up games, entertained ourselves for hours, all at a cheap price. When we weren't at my grandmother's swimming, we would be at the local pool racing our little hearts out, only to go back to the pool again all over again. This is something I hope my daughter loves as much as I do. As much as it seems the next generation of us are. See, my daughter is in the younger half of grandchildren. Granted, there are only 4, but there are 2 older and 1 younger. Anyway, last summer my nephew fell in love with swimming. If I am right, and I think I am, he still loves it. My niece, she is a fish. But, I know that she will want to do what the older 2 are doing, and I don't want to have to tell her no. The beach last summer, a success. I was worried because she was only 1, but she was great with it. In fact she loved it. I am hoping to take her there more often this year. Here that R, I have lots of week days off! (JK, kinda, I know you are crazy busy with work and school). Anyway, I will take her.

Wait, what was I talking about, see, I get lost in the beach just talking about it. Oh, anyway, The summer means outdoors and pools and swimming so I want to be able to enjoy the pool a little bit more, so I knew I had to get Makayla to understand and be safe around the pool. So, I joined the local Y so I myself can use other avenues to cross train, but also so I can sign her up for swim lessons. Today, was her first lesson. And while you can't tell from this photo, she absolutely loved it.

She was saying cheese, and swimming all at the same time when I took this picture.  She was so well behaved, she was pointing out all the colors of the bathing suits that all the kids were wearing, and she was even so excited for all the kids to be swimming. Finally, it was our turn. She was nervous at first (I was too, this is my first time taking a swimming class, not teaching one) but as soon as her feet got wet, she was no longer nervous. She couldn't wait to start. She kicked with a kick board, she reached for a disc. She blew bubbles, and then applauded herself when she did. She didn't like her back so much, but I think she will get over that. It was the first day and all.


The saddest part, when the class was over. She didn't want to get out. I had to bribe her that we would be back. So far, this was the best money I could spend.

After class, all she wanted was pretzels, so we went to Target, and bought pretzels. She must have swam her heart out because she only ate 2 pretzels and then fell asleep (2.5 hours ago!)


I cannot wait to see how she develops with future swim lessons. I/we will probably continue them until the summer when we will be outside, but I will cross that bridge when we come to it. I know that I could probably teach her what she needs to know, but I love the interaction she gets with other children and I think that is something that is important to her growth.  Saturday morning swim lessons do make for crazy Saturday mornings here, but it is completely and utterly worth it!

Happy Saturday!

Hi ho HI ho

It's off to school I go. Well, Makayla, and it's really day care but who's going to correct her. She got this backpack from my sister R for Christmas and what can I say, I am a sucker for it...

I am a mess already, and this is just day care. Oh Em Gee am I in trouble when kindergarten starts!

Doesn't this backpack kill you?!?! It kills me. She even tells me she can't go without it. It's hers. The things she learns. It's cold, she needs her boots. We get outside, she needs her mittens. (As a side note, she now knows how to put her thumbs in the correct hole). She is growing up too fast!

Happy Thursday!

New Year Snow Angel

Happy New Year! I hope that 2013 brings you everything your little hearts desire. As we come to a new year, we are all at the mercy of tradition to make resolutions. This year, I am working on many small things, but they all have the goal of making me a better me. Sorry if that makes me a little selfish, but every once in a while we need too. Anyway, to start of the year right, I will share some pictures from the first snowfall of the season. It also ended 2012 the right way. As you know, Makayla is 2, so last year the little snow we did have, she wanted nothing to do with it. This year, I didn't know how she would react. I think these pictures speak volumes....

 I don't own a sled, so I waxed up the bottom of my laundry basket and used that instead. She loved it! She really liked it too that at some point the "sled" turned her around backwards as she went down the hill! "More mommy!"

Her first time in the snow....

Here she is smiling, although you can't see it under her scarf. She kept saying "it's sowing momma"

Her first snow angel

Even her father came outside to join the fun. (although he didn't stay long)

I have to say that our first snowfall was a success! I can't wait for more snow, but hopefully I will have time to go get a real sled. In the meantime, I love how much she takes after me with wanting to be outside, exploring everything. She really is a breath of fresh air.

I hope your New Year's was what you wanted, and I hope that you have your eyes set on some great things for 2013. We are all in this together, Happy New Year!!

5 days...

I guess things are crazy. At least I am trying to blog once a week again, instead of saying I am going to blog EVERY DAY. Even I know that that isn't practical. So, here on Mostly Wordless Wednesday, I am going to overload you with photos of Makayla because well we all need something to smile at right?!?!
So, my brother in law got Makayla a car just because...and not just any car...

 I car that I think looks a little like a porsche...

 Makayla had to help put it together. "Me do daddy, me do!" Over and over she repeated...

Right after this picture was taken she had a heart to heart with me. "Mommy, get in, I drive you shopping." "Makayla, mommy doesn't fit." Makayla got out of her car, and said "Mommy, get in, we go shopping, and I push." Oh girlfriend, how much I love that you love to spend time with me. I can't wait for many more adventures with you. Happy Wednesday!

Happiest of Birthdays...

If you know me irl, then you know that today is the birthday of the sweet little girl who made me a mom. I didn't know it at the time that today was going to be her birthday, but when you are gestational diabetic they don't let you go to 40 weeks. 2 weeks before my birthday 2 years ago, I went in for my ultrasound appointment and the doctor said that I wasn't going to make it to 40 weeks. So, he said let's go meet with the scheduler and find out when we will be having this baby. I thought it was funny at the time that he said we, but looking back, there were a lot of people who were having this baby with me. The scheduler said, "looks like Wednesday, Dec 14th is the day we will be inducing you." I really asked if I could have her on a Friday so that I didn't have to miss more of work, and I was told that it will be Wed. Okay fine, Dec 14th it is.  The next 2 weeks were  a blur. Between work and getting last minute items together for her arrival, and then actually realizing that I was going to be a mom sooner than later all hit me at once. Tuesday Dec 13, I went to work as usual, and worked my 8 hour day. I went home and tried to nap, but I knew what the next day was going to be. How could they possibly expect me to sleep! But I tried to rest, and I FORCED myself to rest. Between resting and watching the clock I made little favors to give to the staff that was going to be there with me. In all honesty, I HAD no idea what the next day was going to entail. At 2230, I ate my last meal for the night, and at the time gave myself my last ever dose of insulin. (As of today, 2 years later, I am no longer diabetic and my blood sugar levels have been monitored and so far they continue to be good). At about 2330 the husband and I headed up to the Big House, if you ever saw this hospital here, you would think it is an airport. They have a scrolling marquee in it and I swear I expect it to say that your luggage has arrived at carousel 3. But I digress. My folks knew what time I had to be there, I made sure to keep them as involved as they wanted to be, but since this was my first, I didn't really expect to see them right away. Anyway, we got to the hospital at like 2350, and checked in. Then the waiting began.  At 0015, my folks showed up and we were still waiting. I chuckled because they were there already, but I also knew that they wouldn't have missed this in a moment.  At half past midnight they finally called me and escorted me back to what would be my home until the sweet babes arrived.  It was a whirl wind of paper work, and the staff was really awesome. The IV only hurt a little, and in all honesty, I don't really remember the details of the morning. I remember them telling me that they were going to start the induction now, and that it was a matter of time before the baby comes, but to try to stay as comfortable as possible. I don't ever remember peeing, and looking back, I must have been really dehydrated to not pee and have an 8 pound baby on top of my bladder. I remember a little after 1, I met the anesthesiologist and the nurse anesthetist and that later the CRNA provided me with the epidural. By later, I mean like 10 hours later, I waited until I was 5cm dilated.  I had a lot of fears about that part, but it didn't hurt at all. Not even a little. Looking back, I think if I have more children I will get the epidural right away and just ask for the medication later, but again, I don't remember that part so I can honestly say it didn't hurt. Throughout the early stages there were people coming to check on my cervix and my progress what seemed like every 30 minutes. It was like they waited until I fell asleep that they came in to check on me. After the epidural, I didn't really care who came in to check on me. I was still able to rest through the visits although I knew it was going to make me forever.   At 7am, when the doctor's changed, they not only increased my dose of pitocin, they also broke my water. The doctor had wondered why they hadn't done that yet and that was her plan. Like I said, by 11 I was 5 cm, I had been induced for 11 hours and I had finally gotten the epidural.  I knew that I was know half way to meeting my daughter and I would do anything I could.
At this point, you are probably wondering what is happening with my visitors. My husband was sleeping on a recliner, and my folks had brought blankets with them, so between sleeping out in the waiting area, going out for smokes, and sleeping on the floor in my room, I could only imagine the little rest that they did get. I do remember telling them to go home at some point to get some rest, although I don't remember where in the course of the day it was. I also knew that they wouldn't be gone long. My mom was going to.be.here.  It is what I wanted, if she wanted it too. At like 6pm, now almost 24 hours since my last meal, my dad went to get food for everyone. I think I kicked Joe out at this time and it was just me and my mom. I don't remember. Maybe it was earlier.
At 7pm, I was told that this baby would be coming soon. I laughed. I had pain. I cried. I didn't know there were so many emotions involved in the birthing process. I wanted, no needed, more medication through the epidural although I was afraid I wouldn't feel the need to push. They called the CRNA to help with that. He actually turned out to be a friend of mine and asked me for permission to take care of me. ARE you kidding?!?! I was like yes, please, thank you! He gave me medication, he checked on how well they were working. He gave me more. He talked to me about my pain. Told me what the medication could help with and not help. He apologized for pain he couldn't take away. He promised that he couldn't block the need to push. He apologized again for not taking away all of my pain. I laughed. I cried. I thanked him. At 2030, I was fully dilated and I was told it was time to have this baby. I was exhausted, I was tired, I was just so ready to meet this girl, I had had enough. I pushed. I cried. I pushed. I quit. I believe I had quit many times. My mom and my husband didn't let me. They encouraged me. The nurses told me I could do it. They told me I had this. I pushed. I cried. My mom cried. I pushed some more.
At 2050, my beautiful baby girl was born. I waited patiently to hear her cry. NO CRY. Every mother's worse fear. Still no cry. I tried to look over at her, I couldn't see her. They called the NICU. More people standing around her. Still no cry. My mom was crying. My husband (who never cries) was crying. I was now crying even more. I kept asking them why they weren't letting her cry. Why? Why wouldn't someone tell me what was going on. You could hear a pin drop. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the best noise ever. She cried. She screamed. I saw flashes of a camera. I heard nurses talking but with less concern. Finally, after my afterbirth was delivered, the doctor had explained that during my delivery the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and at the time of delivery she wasn't breathing. She was blue in color which is why the NICU was called. I had asked if this was something they missed. No, it just happened during delivery, otherwise I wouldn't have labored for as long. I finally got to see her.

Later, some awesome people came to visit my new family, and all couldn't wait to hold her. Her Aunt Kaka was one of the most excited people to visit. 

My goddaughter Abby came in...straight from college, I believe to hold her. Her.first.baby.ever! She totally rocked it, and now, my daughter adores her!

My aunt, or was it my mom, had to get her this hat. It was the sweetest thing ever. My sister Rachel took this photo. I.adore.it.

Here we are 2 years later, and I can remember every detail of Makayla Noele coming into this world and making me that happiest person alive. I never knew that loving someone like this was possible and there really isn't anything like a mother's love. She truly is so awesome, that I hope one day I can be as awesome as she is. I hope I give her the love and guidance that she needs and deserves and that we can continue to be the bestest of friends. She brings out the best in me, and hopefully I will continue to do the same for her. She has inspired me to do great things and I continue to do them today. I live my life to the fullest and I have her to thank for that.

Makayla,
Today, on the anniversary of your birth, I want you to know how much you have changed me.
You have shown me unconditional love and love I didn't know existed.
You continue to grow into that little, fearless, independent person and I cannot wait to see what the future holds.
I cannot imagine what my life would be like today without you in it and luckily I will never have too.
I cannot thank you enough for loving me for the way I am, but for pushing me (without you knowing it) to expect more of myself.
I hope to always have this bond and I know the day will come when you hate me...or at least think you do.
Until that time comes, I cannot get enough of your kisses and huggies. Your smiles and your laughs.
But, I just cannot get enough of you.
I love you forever and ever and to the moon and back.
Happy Birthday Pumpkin.
Mommy loves you!