Reflections...

Yesterday was my 32nd birthday. 32 years ago my mom was preparing to give birth to her third child, her second in a little over a year. Here I am 2 days before I give birth to my first child. While yesterday was a sweet day, lunch with my folks at the local casino, then shopping the local TJ Maxx Homegoods Store. We finished off the day with some time with my grandparents. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, it was just another day, and for that I am thankful. Last night the hubs and I made our "delivery favors." It was something I always imagined doing, it just always depended on the time of year our sweet babes would be born. I will take pictures and post them after she is here. I have realized this morning that there are several reasons why I am keeping myself so busy. It is not only because I want to save all of my time off for when the babes gets here. I am petrified. Scared. Anxious. Nervous. You pick the adjective, and I am sure I can tell you how I am feeling that way. Petrified- yes, of the whole birthing process. Scared, I wasn't scared until the hubs asked us what happens if she doesn't like us. I know it is crazy, but that is in the back of my mind now. Anxious to meet her, anxious to see what kind of mom I am going to be. Nervous...the whole process makes me nervous. Don't get me wrong, I am excited beyond belief, but at the same time, nervous. While I am ok with working at a hospital, I don't like being in one. First I have to get an IV, then they are going to give me some medication that might stress out the baby. What if that happens?! What if something goes wrong? What if I labor all day?! Then, they are going to put a foley catheter in me, but not for peeing this time. (Well, maybe there will be one for that too) I asked a cousin who is a labor and delivery nurse and said that they will fill the balloon in the foley to massage the cervix to make it dilate. The whole idea perplexes me. Perplexes me to the point that I need to go to confession. It's not a matter of want anymore. It is a NEED. I need to go and confess my sins so that God will watch over us both on Tuesday and keep us both safe and healthy. Yes, I know that women have been doing this for thousands of years, and I am sure that after she comes I can look back on this post and see how crazy I am being. In the meantime, I will keep myself busy. I will go to work on Mon, then the doctors, then have and early dinner and take a nap. Then, wake up and head to the hospital to welcome the birth of the babes. Please, keep us in your prayers this week. Thanks!