There is an uneasiness in my heart...

This is an open letter to me, in case I ever forget why I run...

M,
  Do you remember that day in May of 2011, when you told yourself that Makayla deserved a mommy who would be around for a while? Well I do. I remember that spark that it lit inside you that made you get on board with changing your unhealthy eating habits, which eventually led to you doing a C25K program. Do you remember that first time you started that program? How long that 60 seconds of running felt? How you kept asking yourself how you let yourself get so unhealthy? Fast forward to Thanksgiving day 2011, when you ran your first 5K. Remember the nerves? Remember how proud you felt when you crossed the finish line? What about your first 10K in Feb? Besides the physical pain, do you remember how you felt finishing that one? How about how many people you work with who you have inspired? Think about that for a moment.  There are people out there who are running because you INSPIRED them to do so. Because they saw how far you have some in such a short time. You should be proud of yourself. Yes, there are people, family and friends who think you are crazy for actually wanting to run. Hell, you had those thoughts in your head when you first started running, and you, YES you, are having those thoughts right now.

Remember how you feel as you are running...it's your chance to let your mind be at ease. It's your saving grace, what keeps you going. It's ok that you aren't a speedy Olympian, you ENJOY it and do it for the love. You have come far, and will go where ever your legs take you. Although you are having a minor IT band issue, and although you have it a roadblock, look within yourself and know that you have the strength and the support to work through it. Yes, it may take longer than you think, but as long as you get through it, that is all that matters.  Remember, Makayla loves you whether you run another half, ever run your first full marathon, or even if you never run a 5K again. Your running family and your true friends and family will help you through everything, just know when to lean on them.

Believe in yourself, remember how far you have come and how hard the struggle. It made you where you are today...happier, 57 pounds lighter, and even a half marathoner. Life isn't easy, but running is your drug...even if you only get out for 2 miles...GO STRETCH YOUR LEGS AND LET YOUR MIND BE PEACEFUL!
Love,
 You