Struggles

If you are reading this, then we have made it to Friday.  We all have our struggles. Sometimes, more things cause us struggles than we would like to admit. I don't easily talk about these things because I have found that running helps me work them out. But, what do you do when running is the thing that you feel like you are struggling with. Why now? Why when I am almost halfway into your 1/2 marathon training am I now starting to doubt myself more than ever. Why did I let it affect my running. I couldn't have complained about the weather on Thursday. The first thing I did when I woke up was turn off our heat and open the windows. Nothing like fresh air to get you moving. Met up with my dad at Louise Moore Park, so he and Makayla could enjoy the weather as I ran. We did it on Tuesday, and it worked out great! Hopefully as the weather continues to warm up, this will happen every Tuesday and Thursday. But, back to my run. I didn't really know how to dress, up to this day, I was use to running in cold weather, so I did what I thought was correct, pants and a t-shirt with my normal tank top underneath. Started off my run as normal and was really enjoying the weather. I didn't really focus on my time, and just did my 1/2 mile loop as a warm-up before I hit the big loop (which I run 3 times on a normal day, and then my 1/2 mile loop to finish it off). Anyway, as I hit the loop it felt good. My quads felt a little tight, but usually they are the first mile (guess I need to stretch more). Anyway, this is where my struggles began. I did the loop, and then started the second loop. At mile 1.75, I started telling myself "who do you think you are fooling, in 4 weeks you have to be able to run 10 miles without stopping" I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't so I stopped running. It was at that moment that I was going to just quit. But I knew I came to far to just let it all go away. I took 30 seconds to compose myself and then I continued on. I finished the second loop and then started the 3. I knew I only had this loop left, but again I started doubting myself. Not about mileage this time, I had told myself to just enjoy the weather and the run and not to worry about my time. I guess I was telling myself that it was too hot, too uncomfortable,too this or too that. So I called it a day. My Garmin told me that I was officially 1.4 miles away from my goal, and I was more mad at myself for letting my mind get the best of me. I know that it is OK to have bad days, and next weekend I will be in Pittsburgh and running there (I will be trying to make up for the 1.4 miles lost, but I don't think it is possible to get that back)I just don't want the bad days to take the joys out of running. The best thing that came out of this is now I get to go shopping for warm weather gear (Target, Ross, TJ Maxx) just to name a few. If anyone has suggestions for affordable warm weather gear, please let me know. So, as I finish writing this, my sweet babes is napping. I am going to allow myself a little break and try to read The Hunger Games and enjoy some of the nice weather. Here's hoping we have an early spring.