Monday, August 13, 2012

How an awesome day got even awesomer

So, after the baseball game on Saturday and M enjoying it, I was excited and nervous all at the same time. We haven't been to the beach in almost a year, and I wasn't quite sure how M would do. So, at 530 this morning I took this picture...
Sorry about the photo quality, I don't know how to use the flash on my iPhone. Anyway, she kept saying "go Mama go." I guess she couldn't wait to get there either.  She slept most of the way down there, and when she was awake she wanted to watch Rocket (Little Einsteins). While I love having the ability of watching Disney Junior shows on my iPhone, it has reaffirmed the need for a portable dvd player and Little Einsteins videos when we fly to Chicago. But, that is an adventure for another day. Anyway, in less than 2 hours we were at the beach. Tell me this isn't an awesome view...
We were like the 3rd car of people there. With a view like this, and weather like we had today, it reaffirmed my love for the beach and my need to go there more often. Hmm, random road trips coming anyway.

Here is the first picture I took of the day, when M was going for a walk with my mom.
Guess it was safe to say that she loved it. She always needed her "dig" to go with her wherever she went. Of course, being there since 8 am led to needing to eat. So, when she wasn't digging somewhere, or rolling around in the sand and getting covered head to toe, I was able to get her to sit down to eat, of course, in "Mama seat."
I couldn't get her to nap, and she wasn't really fussy.  She just wanted me for everything. When it was time to leave, I was able to rinse her off and get her changed. She said she wanted her seat, I put her in her car seat, and before we even left our parking spot this is what I saw.
I guess you could say she had an awesome day.  But, that was only half of it for me. Before all of this cuteness was captured, I took this picture...
I just thought it was a nice picture, and now, it has more meaning.  My cousin went with us to the beach. Him and I used to spend time together when we were both younger, we just hung out. Went to lunch, made fun of people, you know silly stuff. Anyway, I don't see him that often because he is busy being a college junior and swimmer and working and you know living life.  Anyway, there was a person at the beach that I perceived myself as looking like. It's a long story, and writing this is helping me admit that I have low self-esteem issues.

Anyway, I asked him if he saw me that same way. Now, he is not one to lie. If you ask him a question he is uncomfortable with, he either laughs when you ask it or he quickly changes the subject. Well, when I first asked the question, he without hesitation said, "No, you don't look like that. Not at all. You look really good. Much better than you used too." He then continued, "Whatever it is that you are doing it, keep it up!" While he has no idea how much hearing that meant to me, or how hearing that helped push me through this little funk, his words re-energized me. 

Later, on the way home, he was looking at Runner's World Magazine and saw this add for people hiking through the desert. He started laughing, and when I asked him what he was laughing at he said, "I don't know. For some reason, I can picture you running this." I laughed, he has no idea that doing an ultra (maybe not running through a desert) is on my bucket list.

Thank you cuz! You really helped make an awesome day awesomer and you really made me feel like all of this running, these early morning trips to the gym, all this stuff is actually working and maybe, while I cannot see it because I am so critical of myself other people can see it. People who I never would have known noticing actually are noticing. Maybe just maybe, one day I will be comfortable in my skin again?!?! Wow!

Speaking of that, I am almost half way through my August Ab Challenge. I took a picture when I started and I will take one half way through and then at the end. Here's hoping that I will even see changes. In the meantime, I have to remember this...
Pinned Image
From Pinterest

So, here is to the start of a new week, and a new outlook on life! Have a great week! Happy Monday!


Alyse said...

What a lovely day, and what an amazing relationship you have with your cousin. Someone who loves you but is also honest - that's a real gem.

I hope this self esteem bump sticks around, because you are INCREDIBLE, and you should be strutting down that beach like you own the place. ;)

Jenna said...

I am so incredibly touched right now by your post!! I have a cousin basically identical to how u describe yours! He's the same age and everything! Your pics are so so adorable too!! Just loved looking at them! You're a beautiful person w a beautiful heart! You've come so far! Be very proud! SPALove!!

Shelze said...

I am glad that my post touched you. I know that I am not the best writer, but I write what comes from the heart, hopefully soon I will have something wiser and smarter to say, but if you ever need to come back and read it again, please feel free. I did that a couple times since Monday, just to keep me going. Have a beautiful week.

Shelze said...

Maybe next summer I will strut down the beach. In the meantime, I will work on appreciating the self esteem boast and just try to accept it and realize its value. I hope that I am half as incredible as you :)